I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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