strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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