you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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