Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize