Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
