Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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