that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
