Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
