Me. At least after what I've been through.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
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you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
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You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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