I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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