Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
