$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
