i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
