You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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