I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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