Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
