just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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