it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
