who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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