Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
