I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
