He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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