How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
that may or may not have been my penis.
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