Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
3 2 1 whiskey
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
