There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
