You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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