I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
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I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
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Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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