Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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