i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
