Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
