I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
