Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
