Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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