too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I don't deserve a penis
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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