would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
