at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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