is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
We need to rekindle our bromance
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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