I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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