holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
