Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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