I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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