ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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