Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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