So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
