Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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