I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
