We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
