Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
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