I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
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