please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
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You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
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my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
And then the night went full on bisexual.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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