I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Randomize
