the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
