Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.