This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids