he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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