part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
