blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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