Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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