Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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