yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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