my being single is dangerous.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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