im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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