drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
