i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
