If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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