come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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