How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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