He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
